So you’re an Instagram Model??

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This week has been SUPER BUSY as I’m learning to balance and nurture all of my businesses equally, continuing to be a great mom, and have some me time. This is by far the most organized that I have ever been in my life! Oh and then there’s Trey.. remember him?? LOL! He’s still away on business so dating hasn’t necessarily come into play with my newly balanced schedule and it hasn’t come into play with my abstinence either. I’m sure I’ll have some fun things to blog about once those thing take place but for now  I’ve been more focused than ever and making strides.

Any who I received a DM the other day from a guy asking for my number, “I like your style, wanna get to know you” BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. My response was “No thank you, but I appreciate the compliments.” This obvious was the ultimate form of rejection for him because he responded with a slew of insults, but the one thing that stood out most was him saying ” You ain’t nothing but ah Instagram Model anyway!” His behavior was very odd, scary, and yes while I screenshot and laughed at the message with my friends, that comment offended me and really got me thinking “How profitable is Instagram for black female entrepreneurs?” Of course there are those that are doing it for the Gram because they just want attention but for the women that actually use social media as a platform to conduct business, what are they taking to the bank?

I started to do my research on two women that I follow on Instagram, @Bundlesofbrittany,  & @Drayamichele. These beautiful black female entrepreneurs who inspire me for different reasons have used Instagram and social media as a platform to leverage their brands and also to make revenue.

Britany Renner  AKA @BundlesofBrittany reigns as a fitness enthusiast, bringing her Instagram fans together under the hashtag #fitthickarmy.  At 24 years old Brittany has gained 1.7 million followers, has a Brennerfitness app, and does fitness tours sponsored by Microsoft, just to name a few of her ventures ( I tried to find her net worth but it only brought up stuff about Colin Kaepernick… ROLLS EYES BIGLY). Reading an article on Buzz Worthy written by Antonio J. Newell, Renner talks about her humble beginnings and confesses her hardships in 2014

“There’s beauty in the struggle, the real jewels are the ones you collect along the journey. My heart and soul is in this.”

Brittany Renner has used her passion and turned into profit.

Draya Michele’s  empire continues to grow daily with her swim suit line Mint Swim and Fine Ass Girls clothing, she has in my opinion one of the most astonishing success stories. When asked about her 2015 sales by Forbes, she eloquently stated.

“Well, with Mint Swim I did incredibly. This will be the first year I sold over $1 million in swimsuits. Just to be able to see my numbers on paper, and actually have proof of these profits and have to pay taxes on it was surreal. You know, know one likes to pay taxes, but once you get to a certain level there’s apart of writing this big check to the IRS that makes you feel kinda good because you feel accomplished. I can honestly say that for the first time in my life, I’m a self-made millionaire.”

Yes, a self-made millionaire. People that try to use her past to diminish her success at this point are laughable. This woman has done everything that she set out to do and more. Educating herself as a business woman, while becoming an inspiration for other women.

I felt like the guy calling me an “Instagram Model” was a way of him trying to belittle my endeavors, but looking at it realistically I’d proudly wear that tittle. Models that advertise for companies such as Flat Tummy Tea are paid on average $3000.00 per post and that doesn’t include other social media outlets. Also depending on the day of the week for example Mondays the pay per post rate is higher, a model being sponsored by one of these companies could make minimally $12,000 per month. These women are not uneducated. There are contracts, deadlines,marketing and a lot more that goes into those 1 million followers that most cannot imagine.

The common theme that I heard from these women in interviews is not to EVER give up and not to give a FUCK about what people say! From my own sentiments most will give up on their dream because of the opinions of like 5 people on Facebook, not thinking about the BILLIONS of other people in this world, and trust me someone will rock with you and then thousands, and possibly millions after… KEEP PUSHING!

Vicki 😉

 

Discipline VS. Avoidance

abstinence

NOUN

  • [mass noun] The practice of restraining oneself from indulging in something, typically alcohol or sex.

     

Last weekend was pretty chill due to a hurricane passing through the Carolina’s, I did much of nothing but it definitely gave me a lot of time to think of all of the things I need to  abstain from… like Trey Songz music (DEEP SIGH). So I’m cleaning, burning my Bath & Body Works Japanese Cherry Blossom candle listening to my Tidal playlist, when  all of a sudden I hear a beat drop with a masculine yet soft voice “Imma give her what she ask for” at this point the beat had me on pre twerk mode, then the lyrics start. I didn’t remember adding this particular song so I grab my phone to find out the name. I read the word “WALLS” as I listened to more intently to his voice I began to have flashbacks of Trey (the guy that I’m redating not Trey Songz, read last blog) I turned that shit off immediately! At this point I’m happy that Trey is out of the country, one phone call could have changed this entire blog post!

Sitting down with myself again while gathering my thoughts, I started to write down all of the things that I needed to avoid so I wouldn’t think about sex.

  1. Food (LOL) NO Bananas
  2. Trey Songz or any other freaky R&B singer

 I’m only serious about number two, but I had to stop writing this list because I know it’s pointless. I gather my thoughts again, thinking “no more freaky R&B music it is!” But now what the hell am I going to listen to, almost every artist is a freaky R&B singer and makes that kind of music! Scrolling through my playlist like “Drake nope, Jeremih nope, Meek Mills nope”( no shade LOL) now  I’m only left with the options of DMX or Adele,and I wasn’t in the mood for either! Then I remembered Solange’s album just dropped, she has always given me a youthful Lauren, Badu vibe and I needed to listen to something to calm my mind. I pressed play on the song I was most familiar with, Cranes in the Sky, her words sank into me like a rock in water.

I tried to drink it away
I tried to put one in the air
I tried to dance it away
I tried to change it with my hair

I ran my credit card bill up
Thought a new dress would make it better
I tried to work it away
But that just made me even sadder

I tried to keep myself busy
I ran around in circles
Think I made myself dizzy: Solange – Cranes In The Sky Lyrics | MetroLyrics

These are all things that I have done to get over shitty relationships instead of healing, I’ve guarded my heart and covered my feelings. After listening to Crane in the Sky 20 times I started writing another list.

        ” I give myself permission to”

  1. I give myself permission to be angry at the people that I have hurt me, just like I need to feel happiness I also need to feel pain, I will go through those moments and be ok if they never understand what they did. Forgiveness is a process, burying yourself in life  won’t change the events that took place it will only make you forget what happened for the moment. In order to heal you have to deal!

    2.I give myself permission to walk away from situations that don’t deserve my energy. I remember waiting for the “right time” to leave a very toxic relationship because I was so concerned with the other person’s feelings  I didn’t take my own into consideration. That’s not how you love, you have to be true to yourself ALWAYS!

I didn’t get passed number 2 because well, I felt better (note to self your list never make it past #2) I felt in control of myself. Discipline is the biggest factor in abstaining from anything, avoiding it doesn’t take away the desire it only prolongs the time for you to  do what you actually want to do anyway. At some point I’ll be able to listen to Trey Songz again and eat bananas (JK) but for now I’m sticking to meditation, “A Seat at the Table”, and Alkaline water.

HEY THERE… LOL

Sooooo remember that time I said I was going to have a blog about all my fashion secrets??? Ok, life happened and I started working on so many things that honestly sitting down to write about what shoes I had on was not a priority. Now, don’t get me wrong I LOVE FASHION & I want to wake  up everyday and look FAB, but I’m really not passionate about writing about it.

So like I was saying life is happening. I launched my online store GlamPoshBoutique.com, I started Midnight Brunch Productions,  and we hold exclusive monthly events, all while still being a mommy to my beautiful twin girls! Then there’s that other thing (whispering and peeking) my love life. YES, you’ve guessed it, that’s what I’ll be blogging about! I’ve recently had a sit down with myself and I’ve decided to abstain from SEX until…I want to say marriage but that’s too much pressure and I’m realistic about this goal, which is why I’m only dating a person that I’ve already had sex with (inserts laughing emoji). I know, I’m crazy but it makes so much sense to me. We’re not curious, if we do wait until marriage we already KNOW! That’s the main reason people say they can’t wait, right?

With, that being said I hit up my EX this morning, let’s call him Trey. Trey is a great guy, smart, handsome, and raised right. We dated years ago and  are still cool, don’t talk often other than a “HBD” text or “How you doing?” every now and again, there’s no bad blood but I really don’t know why things ended. So I  call him and as always I have him dying laughing  about whatever randomness I’ve stumbled upon, then I ask ” Are you dating anyone? ” he replied quickly “NOPE” which turned into a convo about our past relationship… conversation continued

ME -“Sooo I’ve decided to abstain from sex while dating, but I’m only going date a person that I’ve already had sex with.”

Trey- ” YOOOOO, you are crazy!” (laughing hysterically)

Me-” Just hear me out! Let’s date, no expectations, no sex , but I also want you to be my subject for my blog. I mean we had a great time together and I really don’t know why it ended, we just stopped. I think this will be great for us! ”

Trey- ” Wait, what? You were scared and not ready and you told me that! But yea that’s cool, we can do that.”

Me- ” YAAAAYYY!! AND I NEVER told you No shit like that ALL LIES! HA! But, ok call me when you come back from your business trip.

Trey- ” I’ll be calling you before then, I want to catch up it’s been a minute.

At this point I’m singing ” he want that ole thing back” but I’ve changed. While I no longer place more value on my vagina than I do my entire self because I know that’s not the only thing I have to lose. My value is whole, it can’t be broken down based on one part of my anatomy, however I am still very guarded. Trey told me something’s that he felt during the time that we were together that I wasn’t aware that I had done, until he pointed it out. In all honesty I was scared, I was distant, and preparing for a heart break before it ever happened.

Even with my busy schedule, I can’t deny that I don’t still desire a good morning text, flowers, and companionship, but I also want to cultivate healthy relationships whether they are romantic or not, which is why I’m doing this! I’ll be transparent on my journey, please feel free to email me at VICKIinfo1@GMAIL.COM if you are abstaining or practicing celibacy. I’m sure I’ll need tips and I can give advice also…this is only the beginning!

Vicki No Secrets???

imageOk, so I know the first thought that comes to mind with Vicki No Secrets is something sexual, but No, Vicki is me! Derived from my name, Nasira which means Victorious in Arabic. Vicki is my Sasha fierce, my go to when I need that extra nudge to get things done, the voice that motivates me when I feel like throwing in the towel! She is VICTORIOUS, a WINNER, and she never QUITS!

I’m letting you in so you don’t have to wonder “Where did she get that dress?” The cat is out the bag! My blog will highlight my fashion finds, tips, trends, DIY, cooking, and yes this skinny lady can cook… when I feel like it. So keep your eyes and ears open for all the Fashion Tea because Vicki has No Secrets!